durham_knits: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] durham_knits at 03:04pm on 17/08/2004
I visited my grandma today, for what might be the last time. She looks so tired, so old. She's been sick for such a long time, it's no surprise, but when I saw her earlier this summer she still smiled and walked around and dressed up when we visited. She didn't have enough strength to change out of her bathrobe and slippers today.

When we were getting ready to leave, I gave my grandpa a hug. He told me to take care of myself in Chicago and, as I always do, I promised I'd see him over Christmas. "We might not both be here when you come home," he said. It's the first time he's said something like that around me. I mean, Mom's told me that she has her funeral planned out, that she knows what outfit she wants to be buried in. She even found a caterer so there'd be lunch afterward, because if there's one thing my grandmother is good at, it's making sure everyone is fed.

I've known since the start of the summer that it was pretty likely that she'd be gone soon. It's only now that it's really hitting me. I don't know what to do next.

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