posted by
durham_knits at 10:09pm on 16/02/2004
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Warning! Slashy and silly!
To Quickly Ponce
Fox Mulder and Alex Krycek were celebrating a golden Valentine's Day together. Fox Mulder had cooked a glitzy dinner and they ate under the sofa in HELL by candlelight.
"My darling," Alex Krycek said, stroking Fox Mulder's left knee, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Fox Mulder. "It is but a shiny token of my fuzzy love."
Fox Mulder opened the box. Inside was a Russian Lovezilla! He gazed at it bouncily. Then he gazed at Alex Krycek bouncily. "It's rusted," Fox Mulder said. "Come here and let me ponce you."
Just then, a round crone sprang out of hiding and cackled in the manner of an African swallow carrying coconuts from Malasia. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in an opaque voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Alex Krycek read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other drunkenly as the crone cackled some more. Fox Mulder's right foot began to tremble. Then Alex Krycek shrugged, pulled out a magical portal, and hit the crone on her collarbone. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Fox Mulder said and kissed Alex Krycek nastily. "This is a nasty Valentine's Day!"
They swimmingly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they ponced each other all night long.